How much time did your baby spend feeding and did it change over time?
The only answer to this is 'it depends'. It depends on how efficient the baby is at getting the milk. It depends how fast your let down is. Some women literally spray milk, for others it is a slow and steady flow. It depends on whether your baby wants a drink, or a snack, or a four course meal. It depends on too many variables to have one definitive answer. Lots of women find that watching their baby rather than the clock helps them learn all about how a baby breastfeeds.
How much time did your baby spend feeding and did it change over time?
If your baby is falling asleep after a couple of sucks it might be worth helping him latch on again to get a deeper latch so that he gets milk more easily. It is also worth getting someone knowledgeable to check for tongue tie. Babies sometimes fall asleep all the time because they are not getting the milk they want. It can be really frustrating for a mum with a really sleepy baby as sometimes it seems like nothing will wake them up, particularly in the early days, and expressing and feeding via a cup or bottle is often needed to give the baby the energy needed to have another go at breastfeeding. Interestingly,
Jack Newman advocates the use of the supplemental nursing system (SNS) as it gives the baby an opportunity to breastfeed while still getting the milk he needs. He also has a useful article on his website.
Often, with enough practice, mums and babies can have a difficult couple of weeks but go on to breastfeed happily once the mum has learnt how to position the baby correctly, and the baby has learnt what to do with their tongue and jaw to get the milk. Babies need to learn to breastfeed too and although it can be really stressful, it is important for mums to summon as much patience as possible to give the baby a chance to get it right.
It is important to note that if a biological problem, such as tongue tie, is foiling your baby's attempt at getting milk, no amount of poking, blowing or stroking will help him. This website has more information about tongue ties.
What worked for your sleepy baby? Sitting them more upright? Cooling them down? Or did something help your baby to get more milk more effectively?
The chin is pretty important in latching your baby on. Getting the chin to the breast first will help the baby get a good mouthful of breast, with more of breast in her mouth on the chin side than on the top lip side. You can often see more areola (the pinky brown bit surrounding the actual nipple) by the baby's top lip than by her chin as the nipple by her chin should be in her mouth as this is how she can compress the milk sinuses and get lots of milk.
A baby can feed for a short time with a good latch and good drinking, and be happy for a few hours before she needs more. If your baby is spending hours at the breast, it might be worth working on the latch to help the baby get more milk in a shorter amount of time so you can both take a break!
This Jack Newman video is quite a good demonstration of what I am talking about.
My baby is tongue tied, and in the first month or so I had an awful cracked nipple which didn't seem to be healing. I remember vividly weeping through each feed and hoping it would be healed by the time I had to feed him again. Breastfeeding was turning out to be a nightmare. It didn't feel natural, it felt strange, and it hurt. Alot. How was I going to feed my baby for the next year with excrutiating pain at each feeding? I needed a solution, and quickly. Two and a half weeks after having a caesarian with my husband back at work, and having wept through one feed too many, I got on the bus with my baby in the pram and went and bought a pump. I barely made it home in time for the next feed, pumped out the milk and gave it to him in a bottle. The relief, I can't tell you, was unparalleled.
I knew however, that this was a short term thing. That I couldn't pump forever, and that I needed help. I didn't know much more. I was also a bit concerned about the affect all the pumping would have on my supply.
I had been told about the local breastfeeding drop in which was nearby, and reluctantly went along to see if anyone could help. They could. The health visitor was great - extremely well informed about breastfeeding, and she put my mind totally at ease. And within minutes, I'd met a couple of mums also struggling with early breastfeeding. I was not alone. By the end of the session, I had spent half an hour talking to another mum struggling with a tongue tied baby and had an action plan worked out for me by the health visitor who watched my baby feed and helped me with positioning and attachment, which I now know to be arguably the most important element of successful breastfeeding. I left with a totally different attitude and a feeling that perhaps this was doable after all.
Breastfeeding Support Groups are just that: supportive. They often have peer counsellors who have breastfed their own babies and done a twelve week course in the mechanics of breastfeeding, common problems and counselling other mums, and always have an experienced health care professional who has usually done the UNICEF three day course on breastfeeding management. Sometimes there is even a lactation consultant. It is an opportunity to talk to other mums who are breastfeeding, ask lots of questions, swap experiences, and of course sit down with a cup of tea and enjoy your baby.
Was there someone at your local support group that really helped you cope with a difficult problem?
This is arguably one of the most important aspects of establishing breastfeeding. If your baby is latched on well all (or at least most - it can be hard at first!) of the time, breastfeeding is unlikely to be painful for you and it will be satisfying for her as she will be able to get milk easily - and along with connection with mum, this is what every tiny baby wants: milk. A 'good latch' will also keep your supply going effectively.
It appears that the best way to latch your baby on initially is by using the birth crawl or 'biological nurturing' approach in the hour or two after birth. (See Basics - The First Days for a link to the birth crawl video). After that it is up to you whether you wish to continue with the biological nurturing style of latching on (See Useful Information for a link to a biological nurturing explanation) or you wish to pursue other ways of latching your baby on so you can breastfeed any time, anywhere, as comfortably as possible.
The cradle hold is the most commonly taught way of latching your baby on. Not always the most comfortable incidentally - it can tire your shoulders, until later when perhaps you are stronger - but useful if you wish to enjoy breastfeeding while out, or discreetly with other people around. For the cradle hold position, start off by getting as comfortable as possible yourself. Some people find having cushions behind your back and under your arms can support you and take the weight of your baby, particularly early on when you are recovering from the birth and later when you are just plain exhausted! Some people find it useful to have a cushion on your lap to support your baby's weight and a few books on the floor to put your feet on so your legs are also supporting the weight of the baby. Whatever position works so that you are not straining to hold a position in order to feed your baby - you might be there some time! It can be a good idea to hold the baby firmly and confidently at the base of the skull or back of the shoulders so that you are supporting the weight of her head. You can hold her like this so that she feels comforted and reassured by your touch.
At this point, touching your nipple to her top lip may make her open her mouth wide and lift her head up to come up and over the top of the nipple, so that there is more of the whole nipple in the bottom gum side of her mouth and her top jaw has just gone sort of up and over - you will probably be able to see more areola this side. Don't be afraid to hold her head and shoulders slightly away from your breast for a little bit while keeping the rest of her close to you with your elbow. This is all part of the process of her learning that getting a good mouthful of breast enables her to transfer milk effectively which in turn prevents you suffering any nipple trauma. It may be worth making her wait to enable this learning to take place.
Anyway, once she has her mouth wide open, quickly bring her to the breast, chin first so that she can get her gums underneath the milk sinuses (just behind your nipple - these will squirt milk into her mouth if she compresses them effectively). Her top lip will then come up and over the nipple to compress the other side of the milk sinuses. You want to aim for an asymmetrical latch - her bottom lip and gum should cover more of the nipple than her top one - most of the areola on the side where her top lip is will probably be visible and her chin should be massaging the breast as she sucks.
Once a baby is latched on effectively, they will often start with quite fast sucking with a few swallows, depending on how much milk has collected in the milk ducts (like the pipes in your breast that channel the milk down to the nipple and out), and then progress to larger gulps as the milk is let down from deeper inside the breast. He or she will probably 'finish' that side with lots of sucks and the odd swallow as the milk flow slows. A very young baby, and some older ones!, will fall asleep at this point, which is when it is a good time (although not imperative) to change sides and start the whole process again. Sometimes a baby wants the second side, sometimes they are quite satisfied with one side. It is a good idea to be led by your baby.
Having said all of that, like most things where breastfeeding is concerned if your baby appears to be doing none of these things, or didn't like one of these methods or techniques for latching a baby on to the breast, but is thriving on your milk, that is really all that matters.